When The Angels Sing
by Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
Summary: Will deals with the aftermath of being shot. Post-"Hit/Run" and rated T just to be safe.


It started when JJ's phone alarm went off at 3 am. She reached out lazily to turn it off and then rolled over and went back to sleep. Will, on the other hand, hadn't been asleep to begin with. He had managed to forget everything that had happened two days ago when he married JJ, but now it was all coming back full-force. And her phone alarm really didn't help anything.

If he closed his eyes, he was strapped to those bombs again or saying goodbye to his son, Henry. And when he closed his eyes, Emily wasn't there to save him.

He sighed and got up as quietly as possible so he didn't wake JJ up. He pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and then went to check on Henry—just to make sure that he was still there. Will had been doing that a lot these last two days.

Henry was sleeping soundly—clutching his favorite stuffed panda. JJ bought it for him last year when she was away on a case.

Will smiled and pressed a kiss to his son's forehead before making his way downstairs. He put on shoes, grabbed his car keys, and closed the front door as quietly as possible. He needed to drive somewhere and clear his head.

He didn't go far—just to the park a mile away. He stopped the car engine but didn't turn the car off—his favorite band was playing on the radio and it helped distract him.

He thought about all the things that had gone wrong that day—all the things that could have gone wrong. What if JJ hadn't gotten to Henry in time? What if Emily hadn't gotten to him on time? Or if she hadn't gotten the right answers in time? What if Henry had been the one strapped to those bombs?

He thought about how stupid he'd been to bring his wallet into a hostage situation. He was still beating himself up about that one. He knew better than that! His daddy wouldn't have done that, and Will couldn't help but blame himself for putting his son in danger—all because he'd gone in with his god damn wallet in his pocket.

He thought about his dead partner and the man that had killed her. Will shot him and because of that, four people were dead. He had caused their deaths. He remembered when JJ had called him, years ago, after she shot a man who had been trying to kill Penelope. She was in tears and kept going on and on about how she had killed someone. He had assured her then that she did what she had to and that it was normal to feel what she was feeling. This wasn't the first person he'd shot—but it never got any easier.

He sat there thinking about everything that could have gone wrong that day until he felt his eyelids closing. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes—he was out cold before he knew it.

_ Opening his eyes, Will found himself back at the house, standing in the middle of the living room. Only, it was daytime._

_ A child's cry floated to his ears. Turning around, his heart rate quickened as he saw Izzy and Henry in the kitchen. Izzy had Henry pinned to the floor, and was dragging the tip of a very sharp knife over his baby features. Henry struggled and squirmed beneath her, tears leaking from his eyes._

"_Daddy! Mommy!" he cried desperately._

"_Henry, I'm right here!" Will called. "Henry!"_

_ But he got no reply. To his horror, he realized no-one could hear him._

_ He watched, nauseated and filled with fear as Izzy pushed the knife into Henry's abdomen, ruby red blood spilling from the wound and onto the tiles._

_ He looked up as JJ came flying out of the hallway, having climbed in the back window. Grabbing Izzy by the hair, she flung her back against the wall with a surprising strength that Will didn't know she had._

_ Izzy reacted far too quickly. With lightning fast reflexes, she spun them around, pinning JJ to the wall by her throat, dragging the knife across the exposed flesh just below her hand._

"_NO!" Will yelled, charging at them, reaching out to grab Izzy. JJ was paling, and her lips were turning blue. He had to save her…_

Will woke with a start, heart pounding.

He looked at the clock—4 am. He knew he should head back before he ended up falling asleep at the wheel. He also knew he wouldn't be getting to sleep again tonight.

He got home, checked on Henry again, and then slipped into the master bedroom where JJ was still sleeping peacefully. He smiled a little—thinking about the day they first met. He had been smitten since day one and couldn't believe they were finally married.

He slipped under the covers and closed his eyes—willing his brain to let him sleep peacefully.

He was still awake four hours later when JJ's alarm went off again—sending his heart rate through the roof.

That's when he remembered—his partner's funeral was today.

JJ rolled over and looked at him sleepily. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied.

She gave him a look but said nothing more. He knew that she knew he was lying. It was clear that he hadn't been sleeping.

Both of them got up—JJ going to the bathroom to shower and Will going down the hall to Henry's room. They were taking him to Hotch's for a playdate with Jack today—he didn't need to go to the funeral.

He opened the door quietly—in case Henry was still asleep. He knew he wouldn't be though. Henry was always up early.

His assumptions were correct. Henry was awake and screamed "Daddy!" as soon as Will poked his head through the door.

He smiled at his son and said, "Hey buddy, you excited to see Jack today?"

Henry nodded enthusiastically and jumped out of bed. Will braced himself and managed not to fall over as Henry hugged his leg.

Will laughed and picked his son up, pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and then set him down again.

Henry was at that stage where he insisted on dressing himself, but Will still had to make sure he didn't put any of his clothes on backwards, which happened often.

He thought back to that moment when he'd had to leave Henry with Izzy. He could still hear his son whispering, "It's gonna be okay." A small part of his brain had told him he might not see Henry alive after that.

Without any warning, Will picked Henry up and held him close. "I love you, buddy."

If Henry found his father's behavior odd, he didn't show it. He whispered the sentiment back and Will found himself fighting back tears.

Just then, JJ's poked her head through the door—hair still damp from her shower. "Everything okay in here?" She asked with a smile.

Henry said, "Mommy!" and Will put him down so he could run and hug his mother.

Will watched JJ pick up Henry and hug him close. He thought he had lost both of them that day. He hadn't trusted Izzy and felt like the worst parent ever leaving Henry with her. He hadn't known if his son was alive or dead until he saw him at the hospital, holding Rossi's hand. He hadn't known if JJ died in the explosion or if she got to Henry in time or if she was hurt. That had been the worst part—not knowing.

He remembered pleading with Emily to find Henry and get him away from Izzy. Will didn't care if he died, if it meant his son was safe.

He was brought out of his thoughts by JJ asking, "Will, you all right?"

"What?" He looked up and saw her looking at him with concern.

He blinked and realized there were tears in his eyes. He blinked them away and said, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." A blatant lie, and he knew it.

He knew JJ knew he was lying too. But she didn't say anything, just like she hadn't said anything after she woke up. She looked at Henry, who was in her arms with his head on her shoulder. "Ready to go see Jack?"

Henry smiled and nodded.

JJ took him out of the room and Will went to the master bedroom to get changed.

JJ walked into the room as he was struggling with his tie. He rarely wore them.

She didn't say anything. She just helped him tie the tie and then kissed him gently. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She said quietly.

It was an invitation for him to talk about what was bothering him, but he just forced a smile and said, "Yeah, I know, cher." But he didn't elaborate or make any attempt to let his wife know what was wrong.

* * *

They dropped off Henry at Hotch's house and then headed to the funeral. JJ insisted on driving and Will didn't argue with her. He was too exhausted.

He barely registered the car stopping and before he knew it, JJ was leading him through the cemetery to where the service was being held.

Will was near catatonic by the time the service started and JJ kept glancing at him to see if he was okay. Obviously, he wasn't. She knew he hadn't been sleeping lately and even though he tried to hide it, she knew he'd been checking up on Henry much more frequently these days.

JJ wished he would talk to her but she knew him—he didn't like to "burden" her with his problems. It took her almost a full year to get him to really open up about his father's death and even longer to get him to talk about his mother—who died when Will was nine.

Near the end of the service, JJ glanced over at him and noticed that tears were streaming down his face. He was trying to keep silent, and his shoulders were shaking with the effort. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it—to let him know she was there for him.

Once the service was over, JJ decided it would be best for them to leave, rather than go to the wake and she apologized to everyone as she led Will out of the cemetery and back to the car. Before they got in, she pulled him into her arms and let him cry on her shoulder, as she ran her hands up and down his back and through his hair. "It's okay. Let it out."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and sobbed into her shoulder.

They stayed like that for several minutes before Will finally pulled away. He wiped his tears on the sleeve of his suit and sniffed.

JJ didn't say anything about his breakdown—he would talk when he was ready. Instead, she told him gently, "Get in the car. I'm gonna give Hotch a call."

Will did as she asked and JJ walked a couple of feet before dialing Hotch's number. "Hello?" He answered.

"Uh, hi. Could Henry possibly sleep over at your house tonight? Will needs my undivided attention today."

It went without saying that something happened at the funeral and Hotch replied, "Of course he can, JJ."

"Great. I'll bring his stuff around later, and it might be good to let Will see him too."

"I take it Will's been checking in on him a lot more lately?" Hotch guessed, thinking back on their last case.

"Yeah. He's more shaken up about that than he wants to admit right now. But I think he's ready to talk."

"Take as much time as you need. Henry can stay here as long as he wants."

"Thank you so much, Hotch."

"No problem. And JJ, let me know how Will's doing?" Even though he wasn't part of the team, Will was part of their BAU family, and JJ was touched at the concern her boss showed.

"I will. Thanks again."

She hung up and went back to the car to find Will staring off into space in the passenger seat. She slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. "You okay?"

Will blinked and turned his head to look at her. "Yeah."

She looked at him and he sighed. "No. I'm not okay, JJ."

"Will you talk to me when we get home?" She asked.

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I'll talk."

* * *

Once they got home, JJ told Will to change out of his suit while she made coffee. She was giving him a chance to collect his thoughts.

After several minutes, he still hadn't come back downstairs so JJ went to check on him. She found him sitting on the bed, wearing a pair of jeans and black t-shirt. He looked at her when she walked into the room.

She sat down next to him and put her hand on his back. "Ready to talk?" She asked quietly.

Will sighed. "Yeah, I'm ready."

JJ listened as he told her everything that had been bothering him since the day he got shot—his aversion to loud noises and beeping noises, his paranoia over Henry's well-being, the nightmares, the guilt he felt—

"Whoa whoa whoa," JJ said, stopping him once he got to the guilt part. "You can't blame yourself for those deaths, Will."

He didn't say anything, but she could see the tears welling up in his eyes again. "Will, look at me."

He blinked back his tears and turned to look at his wife. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "None of this was your fault. You did what you had to do and you're the reason why all the other hostages are alive."

Will didn't answer her, and JJ knew it would take a lot of effort on her part to convince him that he wasn't to blame for any of this.

They sat there in silence before Will said, "JJ, I just left Henry there. I didn't fight, I didn't struggle. I just went along with what they wanted."

JJ leaned over and wrapped her arms around her husband. "You did what you had to do. What would have happened if you struggled? It would be guaranteed that she would have done something to him. You took the safe route and no one can blame you for that. Emily told me what you said when she was working on diffusing the bombs."

Will tensed up at the mention of the bombs and JJ rubbed his back soothingly. "She told me how insistent you were about her leaving you to make sure Henry was okay. You were willing to risk your life for our child, Will. Obviously that means something. So stop blaming yourself? Please?"

She knew it wouldn't be that simple, but she did seem to be getting somewhere with him. "Come on. Come with me to drop Henry's stuff off, and then you're going to sleep."

He tensed up again at the mention of sleep, which just confirmed how horrible the nightmares were. JJ kissed his cheek and told him, "I'm not gonna leave you. You're safe. I'm safe. Henry's safe. It's all gonna be fine." She was echoing his own words back at him.

* * *

They drove up to Hotch's house and saw Beth holding Henry in the doorway. He looked like he was half-asleep and Beth confirmed that as they walked up to the door.

"I was just about to put him down for his nap," she explained.

Henry picked his head up off her shoulder and held his arms out to his father, who took him from Beth. "Hey little man. You sleepy?" Will said gently.

Henry could only nod and put his head on his daddy's shoulder.

"Okay, well I have to say bye-bye right now. You be good for Uncle Aaron and Miss Beth, okay?"

Henry nodded again and Will passed him to JJ so she could say bye to him.

On the way home, JJ glanced over at him as she drove. "Feeling a little better?"

"Yeah, a little."

They drove in silence for the rest of the way home. Just before JJ pulled into the garage, Will said, "I'm scared." JJ stopped the car and turned to him. He was staring straight ahead. "Every time I close my eyes, you and Henry are dead."

JJ didn't know what to say to that—even with all of her training. But as soon as she parked the car, she reached over to give her husband a hug. "You're safe. Henry's safe. I'm safe. Remember that. Now come up, you need some sleep."

Will followed her silently—he barely had enough energy to walk the small distance. He could barely remember changing into pajamas and being tucked into bed like his daddy used to do when he was younger.

He grabbed his wife's hand. She smiled gently. "I'm not leaving. Don't worry." She disappeared into the bathroom and a few minutes later emerged wearing shorts and a tank top.

JJ pulled the covers back and crawled in next to him. She lay on her back and moved him gently so his head was resting on her chest so he could hear her heartbeat. She ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. "Go to sleep," she whispered.

Will took a deep breath and focused on JJ's heartbeat. It was a reminder that she was still alive. She and Henry were both still alive. He closed his eyes.

He wasn't plagued by nightmares this time.

* * *

**A/N**: Well, I meant to finish this a _long_ time ago but the ending just came to me a little while ago so here it is now. I've been hoping for someone else to write something similar for a while because well, Will's the one who got shot in the finale and yet most of the fanfics I've seen have dealt with the aftermath for JJ. Since Will's my favorite character, I'm more interested in the aftermath for him. So I wrote this. It's my first CM fic so feedback would be much appreciated! Also, it's not terribly important but in my mind, Will's favorite band is Social Distortion because he totally seems like the kind of guy who listens to that band so I was thinking about them when I wrote this.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Criminal Minds! The title is a song by Social Distortion (check it out—it's amazing). Also, Josh Stewart is sexy as fuck but that's beside the point.


End file.
